Sassy Bitches











{July 22, 2011}   Breast is best…or is it??

First of all, let me just apologize for the absence of this bitch.  It has been a bit crazy around my house, and I think it sucked the blogging brain right out of me.  But worry not, I’M HEEEEERRRREEEEEE 🙂

The other day, I saw a news report about a new toy on the market.  I instantly howeled wtih laughter because I knew the outrage and controversy it was going to cause.  Not because its the hot new Christmas item that you watch mothers fight each other for on Black Friday, but because it brings to light a hot topic.  Breastfeeding. 

Yep.  There is a “breastfeeding” doll.  The controversy that this thing is creating is making me roll my eyes and shake my head.  Now, I have been on both sides of the controversy here.  I did not breastfeed my first daughter, because when I was 21 and had her, I thought it was “gross.”   I now blame lack of education on the benefits of breastfeeding.  I did breastfeed the last of my children, with my son being the most long-term.  My mother was disgusted with me, and outside of my supportive mommy friends, I did get a lot of ridicule for doing it for so long.  He was just shy of 3 when I weaned him, and it was tough for both of us.  I will spare you my gushy description of the awesomeness that was breastfeeding my children and my sincere support of breastfeeding and move along 😉

The most hilarious comment that I heard from someone being interviewed about the doll was “Oh, come on.  We need to let our children be kids and not push them to grow up so quickly.”  Of all of the things that make our children “grow up faster,” you are gonna pick this to complain about?????  Children have for generation after generation watched their moms in awe and emulate what they do.  Even my son asked for a babydoll for his birthday (we will discuss the ridicule I get for allowing that on another blog, as it enrages me as well) and when I was breastfeeding him, his youngest sister would sit beside me with her doll when I nursed him and would also “feed” her baby like mommy did.  It was beautiful, natural, and it melted my heart.  People around me tried to give me a hard time about it and I quickly shut them down for trying to make it inappropriate or somehow “dirty.” Are you kidding me? 

Personally, my feeling is this.  When I was breastfeeding, I remember all the times I would be embarrased, talk to my close friends for encouragement on getting the nerve to not take my little man into a bathroom or secluded area to feed him because I was stared at or talked about.  I imagine he was a good year before I would comfortably feed him, very discretely, at a table in a restaurant and 99% of the time no one around would even know it.  It was quite a battle, and I hated that I felt like I needed to behave as if I were doing something gross or insulting.  I finally got bolder the angrier I got about it, and I didn’t care anymore about the ignorant stares or grumblings of passerbys.  My goal in life is to teach my children everything I have learned through my life experiences.   I would absolutely, positively, and without reservations buy my daughter a breastfeeding doll and encourage her to play with it when and where she wished.  Maybe exposing this to the general public a little more will get them over their mindset that it is inappropriate or gross to properly and discretely breastfeed a child.  As my good friend Julie pointed out on this very discussion, I’ve never seen a cat, dog, cow, or donkey pull out a bottle to feed their offspring.  Why, in a world filled with so many truly inappropriate events taking place, are we going to choose to make one of the most natural of circumstances pornographic or dirty.  No, much to the haters dismay, I am not practicing breeding whores by allowing my children to pretend to breastfeed their doll like mommy fed their sibling, I am teaching them to embrace the most natural things and not feel shame for it like I did.  At this point, I am waiting for someone to get on their high horse and say that a child who sleeps with a babydoll is inappropriate because it encourages co-sleeping with a baby.   

Feel free to disagree with me, because I know this is a hot topic, and based on the news reports, a whole lot more people disagree with me than agree . So…I challenge you.  Tell us what you think.  We love to feel challenged here, and we aren’t offended when we are opposed.  We are always up for a good debate 😉 (KW)



{July 12, 2011}   Vocab Rehab

Is there a word that in comparison is like nails on a chalkboard every time it leaves someone’s lips? Not a 4 letter word, shit those are fun! I mean, just a word, that people use in every day conversations, or often enough that it drives you batty?! Does this word have a family history with you? Such as, in our house when I was growing up my siblings & I were forbidden to say the word “fart”. Ok, even as an adult I just giggled typing that. My parents hated that word, oh & speaking of “hated” that was not permitted either. We “stinkered” & we “disliked”. Now that I’m older I use the word fart as often as I like, and in my house, well… let’s just say that’s often. I still don’t like the word “hate” unless you’re talking about something rather than someone. I hate spinach or I hate the news. Rarely will you hear me say that I hate someone, very harsh word in my book.

So my word of disgust, now that I’m the “adult” (only qualifying by age) is “retarded”. No, I’m not saying my word is retarded, that’s the word I hate. And yes, I said hate because I can. I know I have many friends who use it on a daily basis & to each their own but sometimes I’d just like to say “that’s not nice”. To me, “retarded” is derogatory. And in today’s day & age when is it ok to say “he/she is a retard” when speaking of a mentally handicap person?? I truly don’t believe many still use this terminology, but if you do, shame on you. That’s like using “colored” for African Americans. The word is being used in a negative way, for example, your boss asks you to do something you don’t want to do or you think is unnecessary so you say “man, that’s just retarded”. Meaning being “retarded” aka “mentally handicap” is a bad, stupid, negative thing, it mocks those with mental disabilities & I just never found a time in life where it was appropriate to do that.

I had this argument with my kid over the weekend. He knows not to use it but likes to push his language limits around me lately. I got whiplash from flipping my head so fast around to give him the hairy eyeball, as he stood there and said “what?” and I said “you know what, now think of a different word, expand your vocabulary.” He came up with “stupid” where, in turn, I gave him a few of my own suggestions for next time, such as: not cool, lame, bogus, corrupt,  odd, weird, crazy, etc. Widen that vocabulary boy! He could have easily said what most of his friends would have said, “That’s so gay”, but he KNOWS better than to use that slang around me 😉

                So open up those thesauruses folks & broaden your vocabulary!!

 

 



Ahhh… custody, one of the many joys of divorce. Whether you have one bambino or 16 rugrats, it’s the same game, just more players.

My ex & I have “joint” custody. Mathematically this is what “joint” custody looks like:

Ex’s approximate amt of days spent with child = 52/yr

My approximate amt of days spent with child = 313/yr

Now since this equation is obviously not 50/50, neither is the decision making. Yet some feel that this way of rationing is “unfair”. Some feel that “joint custody” MUST = 50/50 custody. You tell me, if you own 20% of a company & your friend owns the other 80%, do you think all decisions regarding the business should be brought to your attention & you should have an EQUAL say? I don’t. Input is always welcome but bottom line, your friend should make the final call.

 Just one of many examples I have encountered regarding custody. When my son spent a few weeks of summer with his father one year, he came home with his ear pierced. I checked my phone because I figured it was broken since I didn’t have any calls from my ex BEFORE he made this decision, but to my surprise my phone was working just fine. At what point did he feel that it was “unnecessary” to discuss this kind of decision with me? He lets him do what he wants & then sends him on his merry way —-> my house, under my care.

Talking to my son last week, I had made a comment about his father & I discussing things before a decision is made when it comes to important things. He says “well what happens when you don’t agree?” My answer was this; in the end, what I say… goes. He says “how’s that fair?” My reply  . . . well let me see, I have full responsibility for you for over 300 days a year versus his 50 some odd days, give or take. I make all appointments, such as dental, vision, surgery, monthly check-ups, contact orders & replacement of glasses yearly. I refill your monthly prescriptions. I handle all school correspondence such as; paperwork, emails to teachers, calls to counselors, phone calls from principals, calls from the nurse, Back to School Nights & transportation to & from events.  I nurse you when you’re sick, get you medicine, write excuses for school, stay home with you. I study with you, keep on top of your grades & homework. I do your laundry. I’m your personal taxi. Not to mention ground you when necessary & make sure that punishment is enforced, thus including when your father sees fit to ground you over a weekend that you are in his care so therefore I must follow through by sticking to the punishment through all the whining & bickering. And your father…… well, you do the math. Any questions??

My friend’s scenario is a prime example of manipulation. Kids know how to manipulate their parents in order to get their way. The bottom line is, no matter what kind of “relationship” you have now with an ex, you still need to respect the primary parent’s decisions. I went through the same issue with my son. Her kid wants a Facebook account. He’s only 11 and mom feels strongly that no kid at the age of 11 is in dire need of a FB account. I completely agree. I allowed my son at the age of 14, no ifs, ands, buts or whining (which there was plenty of!)  

My friend specifically told her son “no” to facebook. Well, when the son went to visit dad he allowed the child to set up an account against the mother’s wishes which he was aware of. So now the mom is the “bad guy”. It breaks her heart to “break her son’s heart” but as all us moms know all too well, we just have to be the meanie sometimes & know that they will get over it.  Though we can’t see the effect of this decision immediately, it is the best thing for him. The problem is, the father basically “set up” the mother in the situation to be the bad guy. He not only told him “yes” he had already created an account & was requesting Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents & Cousins! Now dad is cool & mom is mean. This could have been easily avoided if the mother’s decision was respected, as it should have been.

I’m not saying that one parent should make all decisions without any consultation from the other parent, I believe many situations should be discussed between both parents & if they can’t agree, the final decision should weigh in with the primary care parent. Sometimes the decision made by one puts much pressure & responsibility on the other. Such as my ex promising to buy my son a car. Great! My son is thrille…dad rocks! Ok let’s take this one factor at a time & break it down.

            #1 – who’s insurance will he be on? Or even better, who’s paying for it?  

            #2 – Son has no job, who’s paying for gas & maintenance?

            #3 – When he wants to wash his car, which at his age is very important, who’s water bill is he jacking up?

            #4 – Who’s teaching him to drive? Taking him for his permit? License? Fees?

The questions go on, but these are the little details that were not thought out. Basically he will buy him the car & then wash his hands of it. Leaving me with all the gray hair & we all know how I feel about my hair! 😉

Don’t get me wrong, I do confide in my ex when making a decision that I feel he should be included in on. But by no means does that mean I will agree, but I’m  willing to hear his view – if I ask. I’ve earned every right to call the shots, so drink up!



News is really not my thing & I will be honest, I have not followed the Casey Anthony case. Why? Because it sickens me. My emotional well being is more important than following this case. That being said…

Some things perplex me, not bc I’m stupid but bc I can’t come up with an answer (here I go again wanting/needing answers) In this case, I’m torn. Today on “The View” Joy Behar stated that she WOULD lie under oath to protect her child. The other moms, for example Whoopi, didn’t undermine her statement but disagreed. Whoopi’s theory was that you need to teach them that actions must face consequences – good & bad. She can’t condone what her child may have done therefore she can’t protect them.

Joy’s statement was as such “you’ve already buried your grandchild, now you want to bury your own child??” Ouch. Not something I can fathom w/o getting that dang lump in my throat.

Sure I can say in my head, you’re not choosing to “kill” them, their actions is what is going to cause the repercussions. Does that make it any easier? Absolutely not. For those of you who know me well, which probably isn’t many of you, my son is my world. Yes I know all parents say that & I believe most of them. I would go to any extent to protect him. Love for children is unconditional, but how far would YOU go to protect your child??

People say she needs to learn a lesson (if she is guilty, I don’t know) and that is very understandable from the public’s viewpoint, but as her parent do you tell all the evidence that blatantly points her towards a Guilty verdict? What lesson will she learn, she’s going to die. There is no “oops, I made a mistake & I won’t do it again”… this is murder, no second chance.

I’m stating ‘arguments’ for both sides. Parents, I want to hear your thoughts, truly put yourself in that mother’s place. Would you “rat” out your child knowing your testimony could get her convicted & killed or would you protect her thinking she needs help & will learn from her mistake.

All in all it sickens me to even think a mother/father could harm their own child to the extent of killing them, if that be the case here. My boy is 16, think about how many times I’ve thought about ringing his neck, but have never laid a hand on him, just not my nature (sure that surprises some of you lol)

 My thought is this… parents should NOT be legally obligated to testify against their own children. You can’t testify against your spouse but you can testify against your child?!?! Preposterous! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ JT



{June 16, 2011}   Weinergate

Seriously? I am SO over this whole thing. And Schwarzenegger. And Clinton. And all the other slutty politicians.

Seeing as I have said I doubt I will expose my political beliefs, I just want to say this has nothing to do with preference of party. And I realize that what I am about to say will be, in true Sassy fashion, against the beliefs of a lot of people out there.  But here goes.

I’d like to know how many people have sent a naughty text. Had phone sex? Had a one night stand? Committed adultery? And does that make them any less effective at their job…or better yet worthy of being labeled as a crappy person overall? Lastly…anyone ever got caught in their stupid mistake and lied about it initially in hopes of avoiding a big fall out? Thought so.

Did he make a poor judgment call? Uh probably. Does he have a pregnant wife that he is responsible to? Yes. Is that my business? Not particularly.

What really burns me up about this is all these damn politicians coming out and making a huge stand about how “disgusting” he is and how he is so wrong and he needs to step down. Really? Are we all not human? Did he do anything illegal? Immoral….yeah I’ll go with you there.  Illegal? No. Not really. Is he a pig? I guess one could constitute him as such. But that doesn’t make him incapable of doing his job.

Here is my bottom line.

A…are you freaking kidding me you hypocritical political asses? Every damn time we turn around one of you has a love child or is screwing some other person. I don’t see any of you jumping up and down to give up your job. And…can I just say Bill Clinton? He gets to do the nasty in the oval office with a damn intern and lie about it. And keep his job?

B…people are HUMAN. They do dumb things. Certainly putting them in the public eye does not cure them of this trait. It actually makes it damn near impossible for anyone to have any semblance of normal life. So gimme a break. The man screwed up in his private life.

One thing I am adamant about teaching my children is that people are human, they will make mistakes, and as long as they are willing to deal with it properly they are NOT a complete failure for the rest of their lives. I don’t think people deserve their lives to be devastated over a mistake. You aren’t trash because you do something others don’t agree with. But then they get to watch all the holier than thou judgment and accusations that go on each and every day. I think its ludicrous that not only did he resign, but that every Tom, Dick, and Harry called for him to. Pull out your skeletons and put them on display if you are so much better people. I’m sure you have things that you aren’t proud of…and it sure as hell doesn’t make you a waste.

ETA….KW. See? A damn skeleton out there!! 😉



I’ve had many people, even myself, question why I would put myself through 3.5 miles of purely insane, craziness also known as the Warrior Dash. Yes I like a challenge & I do enjoy working out but this is pure hell non-stop for 3.5 miles in the back woods filled with tree roots tripping you up & mud thick enough to make cement look like Jell-o! My answer . . . because you only live once. It didn’t kill me. Am I sore, like a Mack truck hit me & put it in reverse & ran over me again for fun! But it’s a “good’ hurt, ya know?? The kind that lets your body know you pushed yourself beyond your usual “safety” net we stay in way too often. Let me share this adventure with you!!

You start like a pack of wolves waiting for the gate to open to a field full of sheep! The fiery torches blaze & off we go, no less than 100 per wave running at a time. An excursion through the forest sounds so nice, peaceful. I pictured birdies chirping, the sun glistening off the dew on the leaves, the soft wind… WAKE UP CALL!! Not even close. The ground is a mud pit. Times we felt like we were trudging through vats of “brownie mix” as Kelly referred to it. When you get your first taste, and you WILL taste mud at some point, you quickly realize there is nothing chocolaty about it except its color.

We launched through the Crusader’s Castle, pretty simple but very close quarters & you’re “competing” (some more than others!) through this twisting, turning obstacle. And the worst part so far… the stench!! Did these people run already because some are rather ripe & making me want to turn back! But I pushed on… to the Blackout.

Large, long tarps only about 12” off the ground. This is where I endured my first injury, yes this early in the game. Thinking I could “monkey” crawl through it I had my ass end up in the air until about the 3rd beam where SMACK!! The monkey was down, but not for good, I just had to crawl like all the normal folk. See what I get for trying to be different. Sheesh.

Onto the Teetering Traverse, doesn’t look too challenging… until I realized I was not Mary Lou Retton & flexibility is NOT my forte! Shimmying up the first board, piece – of – cake… then you have to go down. Down is never the easy part. Balance & concentration is the key here, two things I do not excel at but made it across unscathed!

Up ahead, the Barricade Breakdown… up and down, like a teeter totter… or not so much.  Up over the 4’ wall then on your hands & knees under the boarded barbed wire, and up again & down, and up again & down… and oh look!! up again & down & just when you thought you had no more energy… UP again & back down… into a magnanimous river of thick, murky mud that sucked the shoes right off your feet! It was like being in a scary movie & you felt as if you were running at full speed ahead but everything was s..l..o..w….m..o..t..i..o..n.

Reaching a horizontal web of elastic ropes called Arachnophobia where they were tied from tree to tree in a formation that reminded me of my young days playing Cat’s Cradle, that would have been more fun & less harmful. Do you ever say to yourself “only me”?? Well in this case, I did. People are in front of you & in back & the people behind me called out “Teamwork!” and we would bunch the cords in our hands, step over them & hand the bunch to the next person, well the lady in front of me didn’t get that memo as she graciously let go of the ropes that catapulted right into my forehead! SON OF A B*#@*%!!! She’s lucky I couldn’t catch her 😉

We’re about halfway through, keep in mind we’re running over tree roots, & large boulders in between each obstacle and there is a lot of ground to cover.  We hit my favorite obstacle, the waist deep plod in the muddy, cold river. It was actually refreshing & cleansing. We were covered in dirt & mud by this point so the rinse was rejuvenating… just long enough to step out into more mud. Clean was not the word of the day.

More running, then down the rocky river where Kelly acclaimed her “battle wound” (which is still oozing) We would step & be 2” in water & the next step would be 2 feet in water, the rocks were ginormous & not visible with the ripples thus causing much damage to many shins.

As we approach the next obstacle I feel my pace slow down & my heart race as I stare in disbelief. For those of you who are not familiar with my “phobias”, height is on the top of the list. I referred to the obstacle as the 50’ monster wall… Kelly later corrected me by saying it was approximately 15’ but when you’re fear runs as deep as mine, 15 & 50 all look the same. The wait was about 4 people deep, enough for me to intently watch others scale the wall like they were Spiderman. My head is saying “no effin’ way” as I look at Kelly with big puppy dog eyes. She tells me I don’t have to do it, but I told her I came here to do ALL the obstacles so I’m not backing out. Again, the “up” part was not that hard, grab the rope, stay close to the wall & use those arm muscles you’ve worked on for months! Got it… I’m at the top. Now what? The wall is no wider than my shoe width. I straddle it and… freeze. It felt like hours. I looked down & the only thought in my head was “if I fall, I could die, there’s nothing to break my fall but rocks”. The fear starts taking over more & more the longer I linger, I hear the guy waiting behind me say “you can do it” at that point I saw the Warrior Dash dude (security or whatever they were) start to slowly head towards me realizing that I’m panicking but as soon as he got close, I snapped out of my trance, slowly swung my leg around & found footing on the beam. I yell “I’ve got this” and head on down. I stood with my knees knocking so loudly I thought everyone could hear them. I wanted to cry, but instead looked up & saw just about the same fear on my girl’s face & said “you can do it baby” and she said she looked down & saw me standing there looking up & she told herself, that if I could do it, she could do it and she did.

By this stage you are almost done, so close to the end you can hear the cheers & the music. Unfortunately they don’t go easy on you just because you’ve reached the end. Instead they double the obstacles & hit ya where it hurts . . . all over!!

We crawled through the Tunnels of Terror (where I saw drops of blood, living up to their name I see) then right out onto a rope wall, not as high thus I scaled it like a spider monkey… who’s foot got caught but no biggie. Then through the Road Rage, tire run & over dilapidated cars. We can see the finish!!! We hurdle over the Warrior Roast flames of fire & plunge into the Muddy Mayhem where they made SURE that if you weren’t muddy you were now. Face first & mouth full of mud we army crawled under barbed wire… needless to say this mud pit wasn’t lined with carpet… it was tiny pebbles that wreaked havoc on every knee that it came in contact with! We crawl out & yet into another thick pool of mud leading to the finish. Nothing like exerting every muscle & every ounce of energy to only have to double that to just reach the damn finish line but we did it!!! Not in record time, but alive & walking.

This adventure was nuts. It was something I’m proud to say “I finished!” Gotta do these things while you still can. Every muscle aches & we are bruise covered but it was a blast. People ask me if I’ll do it again & my response is: ask me in a month or two 😉

So, go out there, grab life by the horns & go for the ride of your life!!  (JT)



{June 12, 2011}   Here is to you…daddy

Yes. I realize this is early.  There is a reason for this.  As father’s day gets closer, the days get harder for me.  I lost my father when I was 10 years old.  There are two days that are difficult for me ever since then.  April 30th (his birthday) and Father’s Day. They are sad days, when I feel the most shattered by not having my father here with me.

We were never close, sadly.  He left my mom when I was 3, and we had no relationship after that until I was 7. And the relationship we had at that point was tenuous at best. But I am grateful for what time I did have with him. I find it hard still, and I am always so frustrated when I hear someone say to another individual after they have suffered the loss of a loved one “Time heals all wounds.” For me, that is one of the biggest lines of bullshit. Yeah, I said it.  Bullshit. The pain I feel when I think of the loss of my father is as fresh today as when I heard the words “Your father has died.” The same pain grips my heart, the same emptiness, the same devastating sadness that I felt on that day.

But my purpose for this blog is not to complain about how miserable Father’s Day is for me. Actually, what I want to do is honor those who are here, and who I am proud to say I know and respect. For me, the men who are noteworthy fall into three categories. And I have chosen three men to represent each one.

“The Present Dad”

This is the dad who is always there. The one that kisses boo boos, plays games, tucks in bed each night…all of those qualities that you think of when you hear the word “Dad/Daddy.” The one who attends games, plays, recitals, concerts…you name it and he is there. The one that as women we always imagine when we have our kids. The one a woman can count on to be there.

You may remember a few blog posts back, our own ACC blogged about the awesomeness of her husband. In that blog, she states:

He truly is a better mom than I am!!  Or rather, he is an amazing father.  He’s a hard worker, both at his job and at home.  He sacrifices nearly all of himself to devote his time and attention to our needs.  Now, two children later he has made nearly every doctor’s visit (mine included).  And we’ve had plenty.  Two children, both born with club feet, requiring weekly, then bi-weekly, then monthly trips to see their Orthopedic Pediatrician.  And our daughter also requiring regular trips to a cardiologist.  In addition to all the regular pediatricians visits!!  There isn’t a diaper he’s not been willing to change, a meal he’s not willing to make.  He’s been jumped on, cried on, peed on, thrown up on.  He does dishes, he does laundry.  (He does hate folding “whites.”  Can’t stand matching up all those socks.  As a Virgo, I delight in it!)  Back to my hubby:  He’s still the love of my life after 10 years of marriage!!!

So, it should come to you as no surprise that I chose this man as the representative of this category. My self-appointed baby brother. Thank you for not only loving my (again, self-appointed) baby sister like you do, but for being an outstanding husband and father each and every day.

“The Single Dad”

This man chooses to, regardless of the outcome of the relationship that produced the blessing of a child, step up and be a dad. Not just be an absent father, but to really step up. Even if it is on a shared visitation schedule, he is still an equal partner. This can pose a bit of a struggle, because you don’t always want to live in close proximity to your ex, but this dad doesn’t complain. He manages to attend important events, plans birthday parties even if there may have already been another party at the other house. It is all about recognizing that just because he isn’t there in the same house, that he is still an integral part of his child’s life.

The gentleman that I want to honor in this category is particularly amazing. He has raised, and obviously continues to do so, an outstanding young man. His son is probably one of the most stellar young men I have the honor of knowing. He, like his father, is always kind, helpful, polite, and really quite hilarious. There are not enough adjectives to adequately describe this kiddo and his dad. The most impressive thing is that he does it it as a single parent…entirely.  Anyone who knows him knows how particularly fantastic he is, but additionally that there is nothing on this planet that comes before his son. Quite literally, you can watch these two and know that his son IS his heart and soul. Mad respect, from me to you Clif. I will never cease to remind you of how much you inspire me. 🙂

“The Dad who chooses to be” (I will preface this with the obligatory “no one will ever replace a child’s biological father.” There)

This one brings a tear to my eye, because of who it is and what he means to my child/children. This is a man who is a dad to a child who he has no actual obligation to parent. He does it simply because he chooses to. I gotta tell you, at times it is difficult for me to deal with my own children. Sometimes they make you so tired you want to claw your eyes out, and at times I feel like the only thing that saves them is that they were born of my own body (don’t you even act like I’m the only one 😉 ). But the love that you can possess in your heart for a child that isn’t your own can be equally gripping as the love that comes from a biological parent.  Its not about taking anyone’s place, or being better or any of that BS that an ex may try to feed to anyone who will listen, but it is the pure emotion of actually loving a child because your heart chooses to.

So, as I am sure would not be surprising either, I choose my own man to honor in this category. He is an outstanding friend and father figure to all of my children, but even moreso to my young son. I thank you, Brian, for helping me to raise a smart, respectful, wonderful little man. For me, there is no better mentor for my son to have.

So here is to all the amazing Dads out there. Anyone can father a child, but it takes a whole different caliber of man to be a Daddy. I salute you all. You are worthy of more than just one day of admiration.

***And to my daddy…I miss you more than any words on this planet could ever express. I love you with every, single, solitary bit of my heart.  With much love, your little girl.***

KW



{June 7, 2011}   Unanswered

    I know when a thought enters my mind & consumes it all day & night, during slumber & first thing in the morning…. It needs to be “brought out”. I’ve spent the past 24 hours mulling it over & discussing it with my partner & it’s still not enough. Unfortunately this blog is close at heart for many of my friends. I personally did not know either of the ladies who were killed over the weekend in a murder/suicide scenario. First & foremost my heart goes out to family & friends. I may not have known these ladies but these types of news stories grab me, not only my mind but my heart & I’m saddened for all those involved in one way or another. 

I’m baffled by many things in life & many scenarios have no answers & never will, which is still mind-boggling for me. I like answers. If there “isn’t one” then I tend to conjure one up in order to satisfy my need for an answer. Not this time. Not in many unexplainable circumstances. Sure there are “reasons” or “excuses” but there just isn’t an answer. 

I’m sure there’s skepticism, people who may have known the “shooter” (I prefer not to use names) may have “answers” such as, she had anger issues, she was depressed, she didn’t want the relationship to end. I honestly don’t know & neither does the media & as of right now, that’s all I have to go by. A domestic relationship ended. Was it mutual? Was it messy? I don’t know. The only details I have are that the one woman returned to “their” townhouse to pack up additional items, it turned into an argument. The shooter, shot the other lady in the head killing her, which in turn summoned her 17 yr old son to investigate the noise, where he in turn was shot at, but luckily missed. He returned to his room to call 911 where he heard yet another shot, the one that took the shooter’s own life. 

What is YOUR “breaking point”? Do you know? Most likely not, because you haven’t reached THAT point, or have you?  I’m sure we’ve all found ourselves very close to that boiling point where either your anger overpowers rationality or your sadness consumes you where nothing else seems to matter at that given time. 

It’s like I WANT to understand, but I can’t. I can’t wrap my head around how one comes to this point. Suicide is a selfish act, yet my heart grieves for those who leave Earth this way, it saddens me to think they just didn’t (in their mind) have anything worth living for. Though there is part of me that is sad for the “shooter”, much of my pity for her went out the window when she took the life of another. Is this situation close to my heart for a reason? Absolutely. First, it’s a domestic relationship. We’re a small community & events like this affect many of us & our community. Second, the victim is a mother  (left behind 2 children) Third, this left children grieving the loss of a parent. This story completely tugs at my heartstrings. I have run it through my head over & over for the past few days. I’ve gotten mad, and I’ve shed a tear or two. And I’m FRUSTRATED!! Frustrated that there are NO answers. Not that ANYTHING justifies what the shooter did, but I just want to know WHY?!? Out of Love? What an oxymoron, murdering out of love. Is this a case of “If I can’t have you, no one else will?” Sadly, I have no idea. 

So many unanswered questions, that will  most likely remain unanswered & continue to baffle not only myself but many others.  There’s nothing that can be done now. Justice won’t be served. Hearts will lay heavy in grief. The children will grow up “mother-less”. 

Thoughts & love go out to family & friends who hold these ladies close to their heart. My deepest sympathy.

JT



{June 6, 2011}   Lets talk politics

No, this isn’t your typical “I’m a (insert your favorite party here since I doubt I will be sharing mine) supporter and I’m going to beat you over the head with it until you agree” blog post. But it is a “For crap sakes I am sick of politics and wish it would all just go away” rant.

“Rep Anthony Weiner:  ‘The Picture Was of Me and I Sent It'”

Here is the link if you want to read it: http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/rep-anthony-weiner-picture/story?id=13774605

Anyone else shocked here?  Look douchebags…here is a thought. Try this. Honesty. It works in all walks of life.  Or better yet, don’t send pictures of your junk to chicks if you don’t wanna get busted.

KW



{June 2, 2011}   Get a room!

So, for those who do not know me personally…I’m a fairly affectionate person. I am a big hugger, and even if we are meeting for the first time I am likely to give you a big old squeeze. Of course, that will depend on what kinda vibe you are putting out there. It varies between friends…some are great with hugging and all that good stuff, a good gentleman friend might get a quick peck even.  So naturally, it wouldn’t surprise you to hear that I am fairly affectionate with my man, in all situations. Holding hands, sneaking kisses, looking all sweet into each others eyes (yeah, insert puke here. We hear it all the time).

What I want to discuss here is when PDA (public display of affection) becomes PDA (please divert attention).  We have all experienced it. You watch a couple, they are all mushy and sweet, kissy face, holding hands.  Its just plain adorable (insert Kellie and Brian here…at least I hope you would). Personally, I try to be real particular about just how affectionate I get with my guy publically.

Sadly, I am sure we have all experienced the over the top PDA…the kind that makes you feel like you need a shower. Tongues flying, hands wandering and all you can think is…Dude. I’m trying to eat here! And those people aren’t even phased! It is as if they do not realize that some things really can be left to the imagination. I will go watch some Cinemax if I want to see damn near soft porn, thankyouverymuch.

Then there are obviously people who are NOT cool with PDA. So what happens when they start dating someone who is a big fan of the “over the top” PDA? Have you seen this? Its actually uncomfortable to watch. Almost more uncomfortable than watching the couple that is heavy petting at the table next to you. At least both are willing participants! But when you watch a woman practically hanging off of the guy as if they are joined at body parts, its not fun. When you see the look of pain in his eyes as if he just wants to scream “OH MY GOD CAN I PLEASE EAT MY DINNER WITHOUT YOU UP MY ASS?!?!?!?!?!” And her cluelessness as she drapes herself around and on top of him. It makes YOU want to scream “OH MY GOD CANT YOU TELL HE DOESN’T LIKE THAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!”  Kinda comes off making a girl look a little insecure, maybe a little needy, maybe a little…over the top? Is it just me?

So what are your “PDA” rules? And what do you think crosses a line? For me…I think it is crazy sweet to see a couple walking around and holding hands, even arms around each other is equally cute. Kisses are fine, encouraged actually, but if you are out in public…lets say a mall or at dinner…could you keep the tongue to yourself for the most part? I’d appreciate it. I will even give you permission to grab your sweetie’s bottom, but really, lets not shove the hands down the pants. And ladies and gents, we all love for the “girls” to get some attention, but lets just keep that to the car ride home, shall we? Hey…a car is fair game to me, especially at night 😉

Thoughts?

KW



et cetera